I haven’t blogged in a while. A series of unfortunate
meant-to-be events have halted work on the Tiny House for the time being. We
are changing projects, and possibly careers, relocating again, and making even more of these terrifying real-world
decisions. It has me petrified. Why didn’t we learn more about all of this in
school? I have yet to use calculus in any real life application…a lesson on how
to make great garage sale signs or an in-depth study of the IRS would have been
more useful at this point.
In the midst of all of this change, continuing to blog has again seemed pointless. What I am thinking, and what I have to say,
is gloomy and not uplifting. It is stress, and groaning and confusion. It is
without direction. It is not helpful to anyone. These are not the pretty things
people want to be reminded of…certainly not while thumbing through Facebook or reading
a blog. My struggle will not teach you how to downsize your own problems, or
install a compost toilet. These struggles are senseless; the transitioning,
futile.
AND I THOUGHT WE HAD
THIS ALL FIGURED OUT?!
But this is reality, and God does not waste hardships –
instead He uses them to teach lessons, ignite a change, and bring us closer to
Him. Purpose exists.
I suppose it’s worth it to say, that because it is not on
social media, I have been pretending this period in our life is non-existent.
These struggles are not being blogged about, not being acknowledged on Facebook
or Instagram. There is no hashtag for my shit. (If there was, it would be
#WhereDidIGoWrong or #HasEveryoneLostTheirMind …most likely) So for the most
part, no one knows - we just aren’t talking about it. I’ll just close my eyes,
bow my head, and the storm will pass. I will come out the other side superior,
and improved upon – like a mucky rock turned polished Kendra Scott gemstone.
But that’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this
works.
Instead, I am choosing to live in the reality of these
moments. I am accepting this is our life right now, and I will be happy when it
is all over – but I will also be happy now. I am not going to wait until we are
settled, or until there is resolution, to be happy. Grander earth has quaked before…it is well with my soul.
We are approaching 10 months since leaving our previous
employer, ditching consumerism, beginning this spiritual revolution, turning our lives on a dime. I
count these days like alcoholics tally their time spent on the wagon. We are
almost 10 months sober. Here’s what I’ve learned:
- · Don’t let the opinions of others keep you from being you: happy and marvelous.
- · We are so easily brought to our knees. Pray while you’re down there.
- · Owning too many things is disruptive to living comfortably.
- · Simple is better.
- · Worrying accomplishes nothing. Do something better with your time.
- · Motivation, inspiration, perspective, and bathing – these things do not last. Seek them daily.
- · Receive the love someone gives to you, instead of being disappointed when it’s not the love you thought you needed.
- · I am not alone, in struggles or victories. Someone can always learn from the story.
- · Don’t expect others to consider you.
- · Stay flexible.
- · Trying to be normal will get in the way of being amazing.
- · Don’t place blame. It takes root in the heart, and you can find a better use for that space.
- · If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you will always be disappointed in the fish.
Just trust in Jesus.
Amen.
