Are We Grown-Ups? Or, Are We Just The Lucky Ones?

“I don’t remember, were we wild and young? All that’s faded into memory. I feel like somebody I don’t know. Are we really who we used to be? Am I really who I was?” Ryan Adams

People think we are crazy…

And maybe we are. Troy and I recently celebrated 3 years of marriage. We are both just 22 years old. We have a 2 year old daughter, a mortgage (for now) and big kid jobs.

Are we grown-ups?

We do not contribute to a 401K or IRA. We do not take our multi-vitamins. We have to ask Google about everything from tax filing concerns to suspicious spider bites. We (for the most part) monitor our credit scores…which are neither fantastic, nor atrocious. We do not own our own lawnmower. We are obsessed with our Shark vacuum. We spend too much money on satellite TV and complain about the cost of our car insurance. We tend to just “chance it”. We have both days where we think we know what we are doing, and days where we pretend the real world does not exist. We plan for big events, budget for vacations, and anticipate significant milestones. We forget our plans, and (most of the time) our budgets. We wear nice watches and tote dollar store umbrellas. We handle *relatively* important business dealings, and do not own briefcases. We know better. We almost never remember to send thank you notes. We do preventative maintenance on our home. We consume both overpriced K-Cups, and ramen noodles. On occasion, we have overdrawn our bank accounts, and accidentally missed the water bill. We have learned lessons, forgotten lessons, and ignored lessons. We have heeded the advice of others, even when we fail to admit it.

Are we grown-ups?

Troy and I often discuss the current state of our lives, in a sort of bemused and satisfied way. When Troy is caught giving his coveted last bite of pizza to Pais, or playing princesses with her while watching a World Cup match. We stop. We laugh. How did we get here? 3 years ago, even 4 or 5, we wouldn’t have guessed this would be what our life looks like today. These are the times I wonder if I have let a part of myself go in all of this. Have I kissed good-bye my youth, trading a priceless freedom for this confining adulthood? So many of you think there is something I should be mourning. Is it something I am missing?

I don’t remember, were we wild and young? I think so. At some point.

Am I really who I used to be? Maybe. Probably.

But, I’m not who you used to be. Whoever you are now, whoever you were. We haven't followed your path.

At 22, I don't think we have sold our free spirits for a depressing albatross of responsibility. I don’t think the chapter of our youth has closed on us. Not even with our child, our mortgage, our stress. Our lives are constantly evolving, we are changing, and we are growing. Sometimes, we are growing up. Are we spontaneous beer bong chugging turn-down-for-what wild these days? No. But then again, we never were.

We are still free. We are still figuring it out. If all you need is love, then we are just the lucky ones.